I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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