don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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