we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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