my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think I won the penis lottery.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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