I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
ok first of all what the fuck
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
