So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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