Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
