i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
smell my finger.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
