So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
