a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we're so committed to being not committed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
