Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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