we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
