Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
