Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
