I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
