I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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