shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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