she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
