I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Randomize
