fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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