I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The Olympian is in my bed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
