they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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