I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
