i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize