I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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