Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
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You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Semen is not good for contacts.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
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I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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