and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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