You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
