Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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