I'm going to jail i love you
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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