i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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