A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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