her vagine was all disorganized.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
