haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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