Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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