just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
