Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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