She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
