They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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