can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
