You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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