Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
