So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
porn star boner night. come get it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
