Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize