he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
