I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
