Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
