I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
