Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize