He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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