My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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