it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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