You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
