you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
