I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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