How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize