If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Even my vagina gasped.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
