Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
