:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
