as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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