i may or may not be watching the land before time
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
and she was petting her beer can
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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