im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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