he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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