wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
