Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
