She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
