Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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