Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
