Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
