jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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